What Mask Are You Wearing?

In anticipation of Halloween, my six-year-old enjoyed trying on all of his old costumes. Some still fit, some didn’t, but it was fun to walk back in time through his “eras” - Daniel Tiger, Toy Story, Transformers, and Star Wars. I loved them all!

It also made me think about what disguises I’ve been wearing lately. Turns out I’ve been putting on my “I’m Fine” mask a lot over the last few weeks. Why? I’ve been juggling a lot professionally and personally and for most of my life, my “I’m Fine” mask has been like my security blanket, especially when I’m feeling overloaded. It looks something like this:

“Whitney, you’ve been solo parenting for several weeks while John has been in Poland for work. How are you holding up?”

 Me: “I’m fine! He’ll be back soon and it’s been great to have some 1:1 time with my son!”

 (Me without my "I'm Fine" mask: “I’m exhausted and have mad respect for single parents! My house is messy, the laundry needs to be done, we have no food in the fridge, and I'm behind on what feels like everything.”)

OR

“Whitney, how are you after visiting your family in NC last weekend?

 Me: “I’m doing just fine. We had fun!“

 (Me without my "I'm Fine" mask: “We had a nice visit, but it’s always a mixed bag of emotions to go home and a six-hour car ride solo with my son is a lot. Thanks for checking on me.”)

Wearing my “I’m Fine” mask has helped me keep things moving forward this month and sometimes it's been a super helpful form of self-protection (especially when talking with certain people!), but wearing it too much also comes at a price. Lately, I’ve been stuffing down my emotions instead of feeling them, staying up too late trying to get things done instead of going to bed by 10 p.m., scrolling my IG and FB feeds nonstop, consuming way too much election news, not asking for enough help, nor prioritizing moving my body enough. Clearly, I am NOT fine.  

But knowing is half the battle, right?  It's time for this girl to put away her "I'm Fine" mask and make some changes. At least I can munch on some leftover Halloween candy while I do it. #winning 

What mask have you been wearing? How has it been serving you? How has it been holding you back?